Tru Life, Please Have A Seat Some Damn Where

To answer your question, no I don't have anything better to do that to sit around and google pictures of this damn man. I believe I explained in my previous post that this is my baby's daddy. Thank you.

Listen, I love an ignan't muhfucka, believe me I do,(see J.R.), but Tru Life needs to sit the fuck down.

Look, dude is fine. That's why I excused his ignan't ass name: The Righteous Uniting Everybody Living In a Fantasy Environment. I'll allow it. He's right. Nigga has GOT to be left handed, 'cause he cain't get no righter, knaemean? Yeah, bitches, Negra is cleva!

So just as I was about to loose the ounce of dignity that I have left (if you thought sleeping with J.R. was bad, wait till I tell you what I bought him, yeah, I know) and run out and terminate my Nextel service to have a pre-paid Boost account, because my babby's daddy is now one of the spokesmen, I read this here shit.

Apparently, they asked him a series of questions, that we may get to know the real "Lizzy the Kid" *rolls eyes* Shut up! I said I was letting the dumb ass names go!

Read this.

What’s the last record you listened to?

Mine. “This is the Life”--we working it at radio, just had it mastered.

How ignorant is that? You're listening to your own shit? Your'e kidding right? Remember that's what Mariah Carey did about 10 years ago during that interview with Tabitha Soren and her ass got clowned? And homegirl was a damn veteran at that point! You ain't made it yet, nigga! Signin' with Jay-Z ain't shit! Remember Amil's ass?! Please find the nearest seat, and sit in that bitch.

What’s the last thing that you autographed?

A T-shirt for 2 little kids.

Tru Life, true story. You know ain't nobody studyin' yo ass but me. You ain't signed a damn thang for nobody. Please stop with the lies. It's too close to Sunday, for that nonsense.

What’s the last car that you drove?

A Ferrari.

Niggas be lyin'. That is all.

Who’s the last celebrity that you hung out with?

That’s hard, The camp- Bleek, Hov, Jermaine Dupri, Snoop, I mean I don’t even trip off that! It’s all in a days work.

1)Wait, what? When the hell did Memphis muthafukkin Bleek become a damn CELEBRITY! Look, I like Memphis Bleek. Believe me I do. But as a rule of thumb, if La Negra Linda likes an artist, they're probably wack. Case in point, I thought D4L were fucking geniuses. Shut up. Y'all just mad because y'all ain't thank a Laffy Taffy. Shit is genius. Period.

2) Uh, whatchu MEAN it's all in a days work?! Nigga WHAT work? You don't be doin' shit, except taking pictures at parties, to put on your damn MySpace page! You damn right you dont "trip" off of that! You got no right to! You've been making this damn album since Jesus was in Elementary school! Stop this foolishness, Tru Life, just stop it.

Who’s the last person that borrowed something from you and didn’t give it back?

I don’t wanna put anyone on blast, but everyone got my shit, from letting the homie hold a chain to my recording equipment.

What the hell do you have to be loaning out? I just wanna know? How much money did you make off them two damn mix tapes? What kinda chain, Tru Life? A necklace? The chain from off of a bike? Why you lettin' muhfuckas "hold" your damn jewelry any damn way? That's sounds, muy suspecto to me dawg.

And as for equipment, your ass needs to get that shit back, so you can get back to makin' that damn album!

And furtherfuckingmore, the equipment probably didn't belong to your ass, but to Def Jam. How you loanin' otha muhfuckas shit out? You do right to not "put nobody on blast" 'cause you know you wrong for that!

What’s the last event you attended?

The Nets playoffs game w/ Jay Z & Ty Ty.

Tru Life, stop. Just stop.

What’s the last thing you did for someone else?

I’m always doing stuff for other people, loaning money to the homies, bought a car for F.White who always helps out and holds me down.

Again, stop. You really ain't "doin'" somethin' for somebody if you "loaning" they ass the money. If that's the case, I need to be sending MasterCard, Visa, and American Express a "Thank You" card with my next payment.

Who’s the last person to ride shotgun in your car?

Me, because I don’t have a license.

Hol'up! Hol' up! Are you fucking KIDDING ME? You drove a fuckin' Ferrari, but you ain't got no licence? Really. Somebody let you buy/rent/drive their fucking Ferrari, with no licence? In honor of the man you're currently dick riding: "We don't belive you, you need more people". And sweet Jesus, please tell me you're not stupid enough to be saying publicly that you don't have a license, when your Black ass be driving in every piece of YouTube footage my ass has seen of you.

Who’s the last person you recorded with?

Memphis Bleek and Akon.

Good GOD, I almost don't want to buy his CD now. Why would you even admit to that shit. Why not have Jay-Z's camel ass keep coming out of your mouth.

Who’s the next person you wanna record with?

Sean Paul.

Wow. That's real hard core. Sean Paul has recorded with Beyonce AND Rianna (almost redundant isn't it?). Any harder, and he'd be a 15 year old boy watching girls play double dutch.

Text or Chirp?

Text.

Wow. That's mad Homo, son. For him to be talking about Jim "Freed Slave" Jones, in that "those Jeans" song, he seems to be partaking in some pretty homosexual activities. I don't know one straight man who knows how to text. If his is straight and texting, he's got a LOT of hoes. I suppose he cold have a lot of hoes, but shit is still mad fucking suspect.

And if that weren't bad enough, can someone please tell his dumb ass that when a company that's famous for a particular feature (Chirp) is paying your black ass to be their fucking spokesman, you need to say that that's your favorite thing to do? Good Gawd.

Give or Get?

Get.

Oh, yes, daddy. Even through all your damn ignorance, your fine ass could get it. Twice.

Natural or Enhanced?

Natural.

I ain't mad at this one. He's Black, of course he's packin' like he works for UPS. I'm natural too. I just have relaxed hair, a basket weave, and fake eye lashes.

Public or Private?

Private, very private.

Hmmm, I guess I'm going to have to secretly record he and I doing the grown up. It won't be all that private when I upload that shit on You Tube though.

Ghetto or Fabulous?

Ghetto.

Yes, yes, you are. And no, the shit ain't cute. You do, however, get a free pass, because you're finner than frog's hair.

Favorite Charities

Glen Toby’s Book Bank Foundation Snoop Dogg’s Youth Football League.

Book Bank? Nigga, you don't look like you read shit! How you gone endorse some shit that yo ass ain't participating in? For the love of GOD( El Shadi), your son (Robert Rosado Jr), and your baby's mama( La Negra Linda), shut the fuck up, and sit down. Thank you, and good night.