Sunday, February 11, 2007

I'se Tired

Like kitty, I'm tired. I never thought I would say this, but I'm tired of "Ain't Shit Niggas".

No, this isn't a "I hate men" post. Good Jesus, nothing could be further from the truth. I just need to find someone who appreciates me, and what I do for him. From picking up the tab at dinner, because I know the ends are a bit short, to saying "Bless You" when he sneezes. I have yet to find that. Hell, I haven't even found that in a woman. Damn shame.

Then again, I'm only 22, so I don't need no damn man. I need to be focused on my studies, and gettin more ass than a donkey farm, that way it'll be out of my system by the tome I get married (to TRU Life).

This is a rant post. Probably not interesting to you, but I needed to write this,and I'm quite proud of myself. I'm proud that I'm putting my feelings first. I'm proud that I've made the decision to not get walked over again.

I'm not saying I'm not open to the possibility of love, because I've been burned, Lawd knows I ain't tryin' to be some single 44 year old tombout, "Niggas ain't shit. They'se all dawgs. I don't need nan one a y'all. I ain't finna flat back for NAN one a y'all, 'cause y'all ain't shit!". I know women like this. Not pretty. I'm just saying that the next time I get into a relationship on any level-- be it casual or monogamous, if I'm not getting out of it what I put into it, it's over.

A few days ago, I made the decision not to sleep with J.R.(the gangster) anymore. At first it was because I haven't seen him in over a month, and who knows where he or that phallus has been. But then I thought about something he always tells me / He always says, " You're so different from any girl I know. You ain't hood. You're smart. You really have your shit together. Your not like these hoodrats around here. I like that about you, ma."

If I sleep with him after the ways he's treated me, I will compromise my self respect, and make him a liar.

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